


It Would've Been Fine

by haikyucomforts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accident, Car Accidents, Character Death, Grieving, I mean like they kiss in the beginning but yknow then he dies so no fluff, I'm trying not to give away who dies even though it's in the summary, M/M, POV Third Person, hit and run, maybe sad ending, possible manga spoilers, practice game, they're still first years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28725090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikyucomforts/pseuds/haikyucomforts
Summary: Shoyou's death was only recent. A hit and run. Kageyama was the one to find the body.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Mentions of Kageyama & Kenma, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Platonic Kageyama & Kenma to be clear
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	It Would've Been Fine

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this less detailed on TikTok so if you recognize it that's why-  
> I don't know what counts as graphic descriptions of violence, but I will be describing how Hinata's death looked a bit, so if that makes you uncomfortable be aware! And if it does match the Archive Warning Graphic Descriptions of Violence then please comment so I can add that.
> 
> There also might be a small mention of disordered eating? If that makes sense? So if that's a trigger for you then be careful. It wasn't huge though.
> 
> I don't think this will make you cry so you guys are fine-

Hinata's death was only recent. After a late practice with Kageyama, it had started to rain. Kageyama was walking home, Hinata biking. Their homes were in the same direction, but on this particular night Kageyama had taken a detour to stop at an errand, going the opposite way from Hinata. So while they usually would've went home together, Hinata usually seeing Kageyama off, they had gone separate ways that time.

_~_

_"You sure you'll be okay in the rain?" Kageyama asked, shoving his free hand in his pocket. Hinata smiled as a faint blush came onto his cheeks. He was happy that the younger boy seemed to be concerned for him._

_"I'm sure. It's not the first time I've biked in the rain." Hinata grinned._

_Kageyama let out a huff of annoyance. "It's not you I'm worried about, dumbass. Well no- it is you I just- argh!" He scowled and cursed to himself at the -maybe- compliment that had slipped his mouth._

_"I'm just saying it's dangerous. Alright? That's it."  
_

_"Awe, Tobio-kun, are you worried about me?" Hinata teased, leaning forwards with a mocking smirk. Kageyama's face turned near maroon. Hinata couldn't help but giggle at the flustered boy._

_Kageyama leaned forward as well, placing a soft peck on Hinata's lips. "Obviously." He pulled back with a small smile which only widened Hinata's. Though he'd never say it out loud, Hinata adored Kageyama's smile and loved seeing it._

_"You're still coming over tomorrow after school, right?" Hinata said as he gave Kageyama's hand a squeeze._

_"Yeah." Kageyama squeezed back. "See you then, Shou." Reluctantly, Kageyama let go of Hinata's hand and waved before turning around and stepping out from underneath the wooden awning he and Hinata had been under to protect themselves from the rain. Hinata waved back with a fond smile, even though Kageyama had already turned._

_"Oh, wait, Tobio!" Hinata called. Kageyama turned around and held his hand above his eyes, shielding his field of view from the rain. "We're still up for stargazing winter break, right?" Hinata asked. Winter break was in two weeks and Hinata had made it very clear how much he wanted to go starazing. He could've sworn he saw Kageyama grin, but it could also be a false image from the rain._

_"I already said yes yesterday, idiot!" Kageyama called back. Hinata grinned before turning around once again._

_Hinata let out a satisfied sigh as he flipped his leg over his bike seat and steadied himself before pedaling to the bike lane on the road. The rain was harsh, but Hinata had ridden through worse. Plus, his bike wheels were made to survive this type of weather._

_And he was right. He was fine. That is, until he was about ten minutes or so from his house and he saw flashing headlights come up from behind him._

_Hinata's breath hitched as he turned around, only to see a car speeding from behind him. It would've been fine. Hinata could jump off his bike and slam into the railing preventing somebody from falling off the roads edge. He could've done that. And the car wasn't even in the bike lane obviously, it was on the road._

_It would've been fine._

_It would've been fine, but the car swerved left, losing control on the slick roads from rain. Towards the biking lane. Everything was going too fast for Hinata to react. He only felt the sudden pressure against his back and the new stinging pain in his jaw, shoulder, nose, and ankle._

_His vision blurred as he squinted. The cars lights were blinding, but they had stopped. Hinata would have sighed in relief, but it hurt to move his head._

_It would've been fine. The car had stopped. They could help._

_It would've been fine, but nobody stepped out of the car. In fact, it started up again. Hinata couldn't tell if they'd even considered stopping for him, maybe they were checking for damage. The windows were tinted so he couldn't see the person inside._

_Hinata let out a groan of pain, his head tilting to the side involuntarily. His bike was all that Hinata could see. His ankle was caught in the wires of the wheel, however that happened. But it was bloody, and he knew for a fact that he definitely shouldn't be able to bend his foot like that._

_He struggled to breath as his throat began to feel clogged, an iron taste in his mouth. Blood? He couldn't seem to form a single thought._

_Hinata opened his mouth to call out for somebody, anybody, but he snapped it back shut as tears welled his eyes. It hurt. Taste of blood, the inability to move his mouth. His ankle. His aching shoulder. He doubted somebody would've heard anyways. He was on a road, no houses, the rain drowning out everything._

_His chest felt heavy and it became harder to see, but not just because of the rain or his tears. All he could hear was a ringing sound that gradually got louder, higher._

_And then it went silent. Everything was black._

_~_

The following morning, Kageyama was running to school as usual. He was specifically excited for the day to be over already because he had his seventh date with Hinata that night, they were going to go to Hinata's house and watch horror movies after baking sweets like cakes and cookies (Hinata had suggested they make them, knowing that both he and Kageyama had a bit of a sweet tooth).

The two had only been dating for the past two months, so maybe they should've gone on more dates by now. Most of the time they were practicing volleyball together and many would argue that is in fact _not_ a date. Hinata and Kageyama begged to differ. " _But we got_ meatbuns _afterwards! That makes it count!_ " Was usually Hinata's defense.

Kageyama let out a huff of laughter at the memory. His life had overall been better after he and Hinata started dating, even though Kageyama had realized he fell in love with the boy much before that. Apparently Hinata had too, accidentally bringing it up during his confession. The two argued who had loved the other first, though that was a given.

As Kageyama reached the top as one of the uphill roads, his saw something in the distance. _Someone_ lying on the ground. Kageyama raised his eyebrow as he slowed down to a walk. 

Though hesitant, he walked up cautiously to the person. What if they were hurt? He scrunched his nose as he got closer, there was a foul smell, a mixed smell of blood and something Kageyama couldn't find a word for.

Kageyama froze about five feet from the body. No, the person. ' _Don't refer to them as if they're dead.'_ Was all Kageyama was repeating in his head. But he wouldn't have cared if it was just a person. If it were just a person, maybe he wouldn't be so bothered by the red liquid, some dried and some wet. If it were just a person, it would've been fine.

But it _wasn't_ just a person. It _wasn't_ fine. Nothing about this was fine, as he recognized damp orange hair that fell in front of hazel eyes that were staring blankly into the sky. Kageyama felt his heart drop and he had a terrible gut feeling. Slowly, Kageyama walked closer to the person who definitely wasn't Hinata. There was no way. Right?

Kageyama gulped audibly. There was no mistaking it. The eyes that used to be filled with joy and sparkle were now empty and dull. Kageyama crouched down. Hinata's ankle was caught between the bikes wheel's tires, bent in an awkward position with scratches all along his calf, the wheel covered with a sickening amount of blood. Hinata's lip was stained with blood, whether it had come from his purplish brown jaw or some inner injury was something Kageyama didn't know. His nose had dried blood running along it, looking the same bruised color as his jaw. Then his shoulder. It looked snapped out of place, dangling loosely compared to the rest of his body. The body that was lying in a puddle of it's own blood, the road stained as well. 

His jacket sleeve was wet with water obviously, but there was something darker. Something thicker, something that looked like the stain was still spreading. Still bleeding.

Kageyama's hands started shaking in fear as he put his hand on the shoulder that looked uninjured and he shook it gently. 

No response. Hinata didn't move. Not on purpose at least, as his head lolled back. He wasn't breathing. He wasn't doing anything. Kageyama let out a wavering breath as his eyes widened, he could already feel the tears stinging his eyes. 

Kageyama let out a scream of horror as he shook Hinata again, urging him to wake up. He still didn't move. 

He sobbed loudly in between breaths as hot tears streamed down his face, screaming louder than the last time. 

"Wake up-" He muttered, mostly to himself as his grip on Hinata's shoulder tightened.

"Hey, kid are you alright-" It was a different voice that spoke, one Kageyama didn't recognize. He didn't bother to turn around.

"Get up!" Kageyama screamed in between sobs. It was getting hard to breath, the still humid air clogging his throat along with tears and possibly vomit.

"Kid!" The voice said again as something grabbed Kageyama's shoulder firmly. Kageyama finally whipped his head around only to see a girl with her hair pulled tightly into a bun wearing some type of uniform. A uniform with a badge on it.

 _Oh._ Kageyama thought. He let go of Hinata and turned fully around to face the person he assumed to be a police officer. _Convenient._

"M-Ma'am please my friend- He-he needs help he-" Kageyama struggled to talk, choking on tears. The police officer gave him a painfully pitiful look.

"I think it might be too late, son." She said, her hand still on Kageyama's shoulder. Kageyama just shook his head, eyes wide as his entire body shook.

"No...no he can't be...He's not!" Kageyama yelled, his voice cracking as he spoke. The officer sighed and let go of Kageyama's shoulder, bending down next to Hinata. She pulled what looked to be gloves out of her pocket and slipped them on, rolled Hinata's sleeve up -his good arm- and placed two fingers on his wrist. The three- the two, remained in silence for a few seconds before the woman pulled her hand away and gave Kageyama a heart breaking frown.

Kageyama felt like he was going to be sick.

* * *

Kageyama didn't go to school that day. He stayed home the next two days, in fact. It was all too much for him to handle. He wished he could've stayed home longer. Luckily he wasn't the one who had to tell Hinata's family. He didn't know if he would've been able to do that without breaking down again. Kageyama doesn't remember ever feeling this sad besides when his grandfather died. He didn't cry that much then even though he looked up to him, so why did it hurt this much losing Hinata?

Hinata's family had asked Kageyama not to tell anybody besides his family about the death until there was a proper funeral, they didn't want Hinata all over the news. They had however granted him permission to tell the team, they deserved an explanation about why Hinata hadn't been at school. Kageyama just didn't understand why he had to be the one to tell them. And he couldn't. He'd texted Daichi the other day, and Daichi agreed to tell the team for him. He understood that Kageyama would most likely find it the most difficult, the team knowing they had been dating. 

Kageyama had gone to school the day before. He found that volleyball did wonders at helping him forget about the entire thing, only for a little though.

_~_

_Kageyama stepped into the gym, avoiding eye contact from everybody. That is, until Noya came up from behind him and punched him in the shoulder. Kageyama just flinched and turned around, Noya's expression shifting from excited just to confused._

_"Dude, you look awful." He paused, supposedly thinking until his face lit up again. "Oh, right! You had date night with Shoyou yesterday, right? No sleep, ey?" Noya grinned as he spoke. Kageyama's eyes widened and he quickly turned around, walking away to the volleyball cart._

_"Hey, what's up with Kage-" Noya was quickly interrupted as Daichi put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a look of grief._

_"C'mon, gather round for a second." Daichi's voice was firm yet sad as he called a team meeting, Kageyama made sure to maintain eye contact throughout the entire conversation. He didn't need the others pitiful looks which he could feel burning into him as Daichi told everybody what had happened. Kageyama silently thanked him for doing it._

_~_

Today was a practice match against Nekoma. Daichi and Suga had told Kageyama he was free to stay home if he needed, but Kageyama quickly denied. As he'd said, volleyball was an easy distraction - that and he didn't want to seem weak. He didn't want people to feel bad for him.

Kenma had immediately asked where Hinata was when he noticed the boy's absence. Sugawara was quick to inform him that the boy was sick (the teams had heard from Hinata's mother as well that they weren't meant to say anything yet to others).

It was an easy lie that was instantly believed. The match was going by at a decent speed, and soon enough they were at match set point. Karasuno had won the first set, the current score 24-23. 

The ball came to Kageyama, and as if on instinct-

"Hinata!" Kageyama called behind him, only to hear the sound of the ball hitting the floor.

Everybody in the gym was silent as they stared at Kageyama, who held his breath as he turned around to see the ball rolling away from the empty spot on the gym floor.

_Nobody was there._

Kageyama stood there in silence for a few seconds before he started murmuring inaudible things that nobody could understand. He stood there staring wide eyed at the spot. The spot where Hinata would've been. Where Hinata _should've_ been.

He finally broke out of his "trance" when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He snapped mouth shut and turned his head around only to see Daichi looking at him with an unreadable expression. Daichi nodded towards the door, and Kageyama swallowed before slowly nodding as well. 

Daichi gave him a pat on the back (which, for the record was much harder than it needed to be) and Kageyama walked towards the locker room door to get his stuff first, but not before glancing at Ukai.

Kageyama didn't want to leave, but it was obvious that Ukai and Daichi thought it were better for him to go. Kageyama couldn't blame them, there was a large chance they'd play another practice match after this. Ukai just gave him a nod, Nekoma giving him questioning looks.

* * *

Miwa had picked Kageyama up. She was home from college visiting and obviously had her drivers license already. Now it was the weekend. Hinata's funeral had passed. The team was there, as well as some people from other schools and relatives Kageyama hadn't met. Kageyama didn't try to talk to anybody new.

He'd been told it was a hit and run, and that the driver was still yet to be caught. Kageyama hated it.

Many of the people who could be considered close to Kageyama told him it was unhealthy to bottle up his feelings and isolate himself from others. He didn't care.

In Kageyama's mind, if he cried he was weak. A failure, more as. So he didn't. More specifically, he didn't let anybody see.

\---

_Kageyama was in a room. Maybe it wasn't even a room, more as a void. All he could see was white. No walls, no creases, no shadows, just space and white. He didn't know if he were upside down, facing left or facing right. When he reached out to see where the end was, he fell. It was almost like there was no space and only space at the same time. Then there was a ringing. A low ringing, you wouldn't notice it was there unless you were focusing on that specifically. There was a warping sound behind Kageyama and he instantly snapped his head around, only to see Hinata. A very, distorted, blurry, mangled Hinata._

_Why was he mangled? Why did it seem as if there were the slightest breeze his foot would fall flat off, the foot that was currently dangling from his calf by a thin string of a torn muscle? Why was his head laid awkwardly back as if he couldn't help it? Why couldn't Kageyama see his face?_

_His body was lying limp, though somehow managing to stand upright. Kageyama didn't know if it could be counted as standing because his foot was laying on it's side against the ground, his shoulder leaning down and his head falling back._

_He looked deceased._

_Hinata's body looked like it was glitching, nearly, or it was moving slightly from side to side in a stiff motion as if it were teleporting._

_The ringing got higher and higher, louder and louder. Kageyama was starting to doubt if he was making up the ringing or not. He was standing frozen as he stared at the horrific image of Hinata's body. Kageyama blinked. The body wasn't there when his eyes opened again and the ringing stopped._

_The silence was deafening and Kageyama wanted to scream for it to stop. He was nearly about to when he heard something that seemed to be struggling for air let out a shaky breath right against Kageyama's ear._

_Kageyama wanted to run. His feet wouldn't move, as if they were glued to the ground. His heart started pounding against his chest._

~~_"It's your fault."_ ~~

\---

Kageyama's eyes snapped open and he bolted upright, gasping for air. His throat had felt clogged and he felt as if his heart was going to leave his chest. Kageyama could feel himself sweating and he felt like he was on fire yet he was so cold. 

That was the fourth time he'd had a dream like that. Other times it was something like watching it happen. Kageyama watching as a car sped by and leaving Hinata to die as the boy bled out slowly, having to be awake for the entire thing. Kageyama was never able to move.

Kenma was surprisingly supportive of Kageyama, understanding, more as. Kenma had been one of Hinata's best friends, but he also wasn't as...social, like Kageyama. The two had managed to become decent friends. Kageyama often struggled to sleep. Most times he was kept awake trying to comprehend the fact that Hinata was gone and never coming back, but at that point he was so sleep deprived that every time he closed his eyes he saw the saw image of Hinata. Hinata's bleeding, lifeless body. Because Kenma didn't sleep as it was, he had told Kageyama to call whenever he needed. The two often played video games together at night until Kageyama was finally tired enough he'd be able to sleep without a thought.

Kageyama didn't eat as much as before, he'd heard that was a simple cause for nightmares or not being able to sleep combined with whatever trauma he'd picked up from the situation. It's not like he was trying to starve himself or anything, he simply wasn't hungry. Sometimes his body would just disagree with him too. When he ate any bit of food, he was throwing it up the next moment. Perhaps the reason his eating had became slightly disordered was because he'd finally realized what had happened. The person he loved the most, his only partner and his first friend; the only person he'd ever really trusted was now gone. The pity was the worst. Everybody loved saying things like "It'll get better." or "I know you must be hurting, I'm so sorry for your loss." It was agonizing.

He still ate as much he could manage though, knowing Hinata would hate to see Kageyama in his current state - either sleeping none at all or sleeping all day, eye bags nonetheless, staying in his room. And it was easy to do, it was winter break now.

He and Hinata had planned to go stargazing over winter break. 

Kageyama glanced at the clock in his room. _1:12AM._

The sun rose early in winter anyways. Kageyama stood up from his bed and slipped on the grey hoodie that Hinata had returned to him a week or two back. He left his room and head straight out the front door after putting on his sneakers. 

He went outside, walking on the sidewalk and up to the big hill. It was a gorgeous view, there were no trees in the area, flat green grass that way perfect to lay on. An ideal spot.

The same thoughts as usual were flooding Kageyama's mind.

_'It would've been fine if you didn't ask him to practice later.' 'It would've been fine if you pushed harder for Shouyou to walk home instead' 'It would've been fine if you were with him'._

He tried his best to ignore them, ultimately failing. So maybe he blamed himself. But it was fine.

Kageyama was fine.

After a few minutes of walking, Kageyama laid down on the rough grass and stared at the starry sky. Hinata loved to count stars. It calmed him down, Kageyama had come to realize based on how much Hinata had talked about it. Kageyama hugged his hoodie closer to him and let out a sigh as he closed his eyes, the cold winter air blowing through his hair. A tear slithered down his face.

_Everything was fine. It would be fine._

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhhh anyways- I hope this wasn't too bad? Lmao if there are any mistakes please tell me and I'll fix them :))
> 
> Also in case threes any confusion, Kageyama did not in fact commit ailven't, he's just stargazing I swear 😃👍 Also sorry I'm not that good at writing lmao


End file.
